Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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