i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
