so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize