I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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