Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
