just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize