is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Randomize
