We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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