Already got asked if we're dating
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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