I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
