So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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