Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
