if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
