1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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