my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
