so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
