Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
