Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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