you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize