How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Alive.
So much puke
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
