Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
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