The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
