Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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