i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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