I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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