haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
