I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
