She is in my trunk
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
