Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
