Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
