after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
