I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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