onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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