his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
