i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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