her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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