my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
