Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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