the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
