I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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