Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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