i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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