her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
