??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
