I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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