tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
