Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
