Kareoke will never be a sober sport
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
