He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize