Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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