Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize