Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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