I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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