i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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