chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
