You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
