he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
