Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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