Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
