They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
