do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
