don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
