i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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