one might say we're banned from that church
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
