I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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