I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
