My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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