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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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