I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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