There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
