does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
