i just had sex bonerless
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
