PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
