we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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