i can't believe i had my finger in that
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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